Build Your Puzzle: A Letter to Myself.

Hey pretty girl!

So, if you’re reading this that mean’s you must be feeling lonely or insecure or sad or all of the above. But guess what? It’s just for a moment. For a fleeting moment, it feels like the universe and all of its cosmic forces are working against you, the only single person on the planet. But oh, you are not alone. You are not unloved. Although, no one is there to hold you at night, to tell you sweet things, to kiss your forehead and say those three little words.

And that’s okay. You are free, you can go anywhere, you have a whole bed to you and you don’t have to shave your legs every day. Spend time with your friends, your family, and most importantly, yourself. Bask in your own beautiful life. Every moment, find the simple things to fall in love with. Smile as much as you can and for as long as you can. Look for the beauty in other things, other people.

Sure, those other people are in relationships, heck, they’re engaged or married. But that’s for them. Their life, that fits together right now. Your life in this very moment? It’s not a fit. Stop trying to shove two puzzle pieces together that will never fit. One day, one fleeting moment, the right puzzle piece will drop into your lap. It might be tomorrow or three years from now or 15 years from now, or never.

And that’s okay. Your puzzle piece will come. And if that one puzzle piece doesn’t come, then the cosmic universe will fill your lap with a dozen other puzzle pieces to complete your master puzzle. So read, paint, fill your head and heart with beautiful words and ideas that will inspire your puzzle. Every puzzle is different, every person has a different puzzle to build. Embrace your puzzle, it’s the best thing you’ve got.

Remember, you have a beautiful soul and an even more beautiful life. Don’t waste any more moments waiting for pieces to a puzzle that isn’t yours.

She’s Nobody’s Girlfriend

Dear reader, why is it socially unacceptable for me to be single? I am an independent twenty something young lady and I don’t need no man…. Right?

I always tell my friends that my single life is a choice. And while some people say that and then cry alone at night, I somewhat believe it’s genuinely true, at least for me. I have tried dating, I wasn’t happy. Recently, I had a boyfriend, but I was so wrapped up in finals week, that I ignored him and then felt guilty for being a horrible girlfriend. As far as my priorities are concerned, a boyfriend would get forgotten in mess of other things I care about. And no guy deserves that. However, my horoscope for this year spoke about ‘droves of amorous admirers’ and to be honest, it’s proving to be more true than my horoscope usually is. A friend of mine told me she was jealous because of my line of options, when she didn’t have any(not entirely true). She didn’t get why I chose to be single. Is it weird I choose to sleep alone, with no one to hold me? Is it wrong I choose to eat chocolate with my friends on Valentine’s because I honestly would have more fun?

I’m not saying I’m drop dead gorgeous and I have guys knocking down my door. I’ve been told that I’m cute, beautiful even and that I’m a sweetheart. I personally don’t see it and I think I’m the most annoying human on the planet. I guess I don’t want a guy who looks at me sees my outer beauty, I want him to know me for me; I want to seen as a beautiful person where it matters, in my heart. But I’m not saying I don’t get lonely. I do, and sometimes I even cry because the future looks so dismal and I only see myself becoming a spinster.

I could have a boyfriend. I could be in a meaningless relationship with someone just because I’m feeling lonely and it’s sometimes nice to have someone there. Any one of the guys who try to talk to me, I could flirt and go out with. They are all sweethearts, they would buy me things and tell me I’m pretty. But don’t people deserve to be treated better than that? I don’t want to toy with someone’s emotions, or more importantly, their heart. Being in a relationship is a slippery slope that’s hard to navigate even if you’re holding hands with the right person.

I guess maybe it’s partially due to me being picky, I’m waiting for prince charming to sweep me off my feet. He’ll be worth it, right? However, I believe in God and his plan and maybe my plan is to be single. I could live with that. I’ve gone years being single. Or maybe I will meet a guy and he’ll be the answer to every question I’ve ever asked. Either way, I’m going to find happiness and treat people the way they deserve to be treated. Because that’s love, that’s respect, and that’s the way I’m going to live my life.

So call me weird, call me crazy, but I refuse to be called that tease who broke everyone’s heart. I would much rather be called a cat lady spinster to be honest.

I hope you’re warm and safe today, dear reader. And I hope you never let anyone else tell you it’s wrong to be who you are.