Twenty-Seven.

Yesterday was my 27th birthday, which is fun, I guess? It’s also very weird being on the upside to 30. I used to get so excited about birthdays, and don’t get me wrong, I still love them, but they’re much less exciting the higher my age gets. Also, I used to always have these high expectations for my birthday (think Jess of New Girl), and I was always let down when I didn’t get a surprise or the big gift I really wanted. In the end, I just tried to stop caring about them as much, so I wouldn’t have as much of a let down.

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Maeve said it best, tbh.

My 27th year. The last year was a lot to say the least. I moved across the country and started a new job, which is kind of insane now that I think about it. I read a lot of books, drank a lot of wine, and got a cat named Aurora. I started to care more about skincare, and tried to care less about how cute my outfit was (still working through this one). I learned that LA is fun, but I cannot live here forever so I’ll enjoy it while I’m here (eating all the Milk Bar I can), awaiting the day I can return to the East Coast.

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Milk Bar Birthday Cake Class…would recommend!!

Overall, it was a wonderful and exciting year and I’m ready for another one full of wine, baking, and lots of laughing.

Sincerely,

Sara Ann

 

Bring It, 2015

Dear Reader,

I’ve been doing some self reflecting about the past year, and I have to say it was a year I didn’t see coming. But in the same breath, the writing was on the wall and perhaps I had ignored it. Inevitable things happened as I figured they would. There were ups and downs, days I cried and days I couldn’t stop laughing. The sad thing of this year was that it was my last safe year. A year that I knew where I was going to be, I knew what I was doing, and that I’d be okay. As for 2015? Well, I’m graduating college, so there’s that big question mark. Will I get a job? Will I move out of my parent’s house officially? Will I ever be able to afford the ‘everything is cute & mismatched but it incidentally all looks great together‘ apartment that I see in my head upon entering any TJ Maxx (that’s my biggest dream of the moment… like, next to landing a cool job)?

I try not to stress and plan for the future. In the past, I have and things have always seemed to work out. Call it karma, God’s plan or what you will but I firmly believe that everything will be alright. Sure, there will sucky days that I’ll want to throw in the towel but there will also be days that I’ll want to last forever. Every year, there’s good and bad mixed with lessons and memories. I only hope to keep learning and living, and especially to keep laughing.

At the beginning of 2014, I decided to make a list of goals, not resolutions. I don’t necessary believe in resolutions because people always say them and never follow through. Instead, I thought of 5 goals that I had hoped for myself. Here they are in all their glory….

20141. For one thing, I think I did smile more. Or I found more moments to be happy. Or I just watched more comedy sitcoms on Netflix (Mindy Project FTW).

2. I definitely read more. Reader, can you believe I didn’t read a single Nicholas Spark’s novel this year?! I found myself reading a lot more inspirational reading this year, books that encourage me to take hold of life. Remember my post on books I’d like to read over break? I’ve just finished tiny beautiful things by Cheryl Strayed, and I need you to go out and find it right now, Reader. Please, do it for me, for you and for your life. It’s beyond perfect.

3. I DID IT, READER. I stopped looking for love around every corner I turned. I’m learning to fall in love with myself and to not sit around waiting for Prince Charming; however, I could look to God more…

4 & 5. I improved on these ends but not as much as I’d like to.

So, I’d have to say, it’s been a pretty great year. As it becomes 2015 and I turn 22, I only hope I can fall in love with life more. Hopefully, I’ll be back in a year to tell you the answer to all my unanswered questions concerning the future. Reader, I hope your year was just as amazing; if not, I pray this year is better for you. Check back soon for my 2015 goals!

Love, B.

Time to Be Happy.

Dear Reader,
While talking to my therapist* recently, I realized that I don’t exactly know what makes me happy. I am one of those, I want everyone else to be happy so I do whatever they want to ensure that they have a wonderful lifeĀ  type of people.
And sometimes I forget about myself in the process.
For instance, I dated someone mostly because my friend really wanted us to be together. He was sweet and I realized that I wasn’t into him as much as he deserved and then I had to end it. But looking back, I was sort of forced into it because I felt I needed to make my friend happy. I have realized most recently that sometimes I need to make me happy.
So how do I make myself happy?
I don’t want to necessarily do this because I always end up forgetting due to time, but I want to try the 100 days of happy. I won’t post every day, but I’ll keep a list and post every now and again about the things that make me happy.
I know it’s old and I know it’s been done a million times before, but everyone who has done it seems to have really been able to discover what truly makes them happy. Most days I think I’m happy and other days I think it’s all a sham. But I know that I want to be happy and I want to take control of my life and do it on my terms.

So Reader, I make a promise for 100 days to try and find happiness. And no, it’s not for you or my friends or family or anyone else.

It’s for me.

Love, B.

*My friend who’s a psych major and oddly excels at constantly giving me advice about how to get my crap together. I’m pretty sure when she goes to grad school, she’ll use me as her case studies because of my inability to function as an actual adult.