So Long Social Media

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I decided earlier in May that for the month of June, I would remove social media apps from my phone. I realized I was too dependent on social media and my screen report made me cringe every Sunday when it popped up. Mixed with everything happening related to COVID, I wasn’t spending any time accomplishing anything, other than scrolling through social media on and off all day, everyday. A whole day would go by and I would realize it was 4 PM and I couldn’t think of a single thing I had accomplished. I was also getting angry seeing others post pictures of themselves back out in public, or with groups of friends, in close proximity and without masks.

It’s now been almost three weeks and honestly, I’m so mad I didn’t try it sooner. My evenings and weekends are so much more open, I can actually look back on my day and list off a number of things I accomplished, none of which involved my phone. I’ve had time to draw, time to take an online class, watch documentaries (and actually retain the information because I was paying attention). I’ve organized and cleaned more of my apartment, and spent more time reading the actual news, rather than what my friends were just posting about.

I also feel like I’ve cut down on my clothing spending, as I’m not seeing influencer’s posts and making impulse purchases, because I have to have that trendy item. I have increased my apartment decor/storage spending, so it’s really netting out, but still I consider it a win because I’m spending money on things that are actually necessary and useful, versus another dress to hang in my closet.

I still have two more weeks and I’m already sad that I am halfway finished. Maybe I’ll keep going into July as well, as I am afraid I’ll fall back into my lazy, aimlessly scrolling ways. If you are reading this like, ‘this girl is crazy, I could never delete my apps;’ I challenge you to try it for at least a day, or even a weekend, just to give yourself time to do things you’ve been meaning to do, and give your mind (and eyes) a break. I promise, you’ll survive and you don’t need to see that picture of your friend’s banana bread or your ex’s story of him out on a boat.

How does social media impact your life? Are you obsessed with it or couldn’t care less?

Sincerely,
Sara Ann

 

 

The Thing about Engagements.

At the ripe old age of 25, I am frequently bombarded with engagement posts all over my social media pages. It seems like every weekend, someone else I know either pops the question, or is asked for their hand in marriage. One by one, my friends are vanishing into wedding planning and settling down to spend their life with ‘the one.’ It seems like only yesterday we were studying for history tests in high school, and chugging beers on frat row in college. Yet, here we are attending showers and discussing bouquet arrangements. And, let me tell you, it’s getting so damn old.

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Now I need to clarify something, because I feel like this could be taken the wrong way. The reason I’m so annoyed with all these engagements has nothing to do with the fact that I doubt my boyfriend has ever even thought about the possibility of proposing. It’s that, at the age of 25, I still feel like I’m 17 and I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m barely a functioning adult and you have the audacity to think I can be someone’s wife?! I’m have quite a bit of student loan debt, and you want me to plan a wedding?! It takes me 25 minutes to pick a movie on Netflix, you honestly expect me to pick a venue, meal and 4-5 friends to stand by my side?? You’re funny.

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Honest to goodness, I am so happy for all the friends I scoff at on Facebook when they post a photo of their ring. I honestly cannot wait to attend the wedding (or creep on the Facebook photos) and see the looks of joy on their faces. I cry at sappy romance films, I LOVE love and I love ‘happily ever afters’ even more. I just don’t why everyone is in such a rush to do this thing (and then the next thing which I cannot even begin to fathom, yes I’m talking about babies). To me, marriage is scary. It’s this serious adult thing that means something. You stand before your family and friends and God and vow to choose this person every single day for the rest of your life. And it seems like everyone is racing towards it.

Now, I love my boyfriend, and I love what we are together, but I’m content with where we’re at. I honestly wouldn’t care if he didn’t propose for another 5 or 10 years. Or never (again to be honest, I do want to get married, but planning a wedding sounds like literal hell with so many decisions and money down the drain, why would I do that)? I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that friends my age (or younger) are like yes, let’s do this thing that is (well, should be) permanent and really serious. Am I just overthinking it? I get that I shouldn’t compare my life journey to someone else’s, but it’s hard not to when it seems like literally every other person my age is doing this one thing. Every time I see another post or picture of a ring, I think of Amy Poehler’s wise words, “good for you, not for me.”

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Does anyone else feel this way about engagements? Or has anyone else survived their twenty’s and lived to give advice to the rest of us wandering souls? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear about it!

That One Time I Gave Myself a Virtual Nose Job

Happy Monday Reader!
For the past month, I have been undertaking a daunting task. No, it has nothing to do with the title of this post, but it actually has everything to do with this title. Let me explain.
Reader, I was bored with my Facebook profile picture. You know that feeling, it’s been up for months and there haven’t been any new likes and it’s old and you need to freshen things up. I like to think of it as a rebirthing of sorts. You post it, people like it and comment on it and, don’t you dare deny it, you feel so (shallow) wonderful and confident!
I took selfies any chance I got that I looked moderately presentable. If you saw my camera roll, you’d be either be impressed or judging me for the amount of pictures of myself I had taken in the last week. But alas, one magical day, I swiped on some red lipstick and knew it was game time (que ‘Style’ by Taylor Swift). After capturing a few dozen photos, I set out to edit one or two. Reader, you’d either be impressed or judging me for the amount of photo editing apps one of my picture goes through before I post it.
One app in particular is similar to photoshop. Now, I believe that photoshop is awful and in Hollywood can have negative affects on us mere mortals in normal society. But this app is magical! It’s called FaceTune and you can smooth skin, whiten teeth, and reshape/resize your face.
Here, I will admit, I do think I am pretty. I have dainty features; small mouth, cute almond eyes, tiny teeth all of which is ruined by my nose. When I look in the mirror it’s all I can see. I’ve always hated it, mostly the tip which is just fat and round and awful and sort of comes to a point like a beak. I have a bump on the bridge of my nose which is something I’ve come to love, but I haven’t been able to accept the rest of my nose.
Enter FaceTune. Yes, I reshaped my nose to make it more suitable for my personal tastes.

2015/01/img_0274.jpgHere’s the two pictures, on the left is the unedited picture and on the right is the edited picture. It’s probably hard for you to tell but I can immediately see that the nose in the right picture is more of the nose I’ve always wanted.
But which picture did I post on Facebook?
I chose to post the unedited picture; although, I’d be lying if I said that my hand didn’t hover over the edited one for a few seconds. I don’t want to be a hypocrite and I would have been if I had posted the nosejob selfie. I’m one of those, ‘beauty is on the inside, who cares about what you face looks like!’ harpies, so I’d be lying to not only the world, but also myself if I posted that picture. I’d rather be real and genuine than post a false picture of myself. Plus I would have hated myself every time I got on and saw the false image.
The unedited picture I posted has gotten a considerable amount of likes and comments about my appearance. I guess maybe, my awful nose isn’t that noticeable to anyone else. Maybe most of the time, we’re the only ones who can see the ugly parts of ourselves. And maybe, those ugly parts are just part of our imaginations and they’re not so ugly after all.

Reader, have you ever heavily edited a picture of yourself? I hope you haven’t, and I hope you love every part of yourself.

Love, B.