Note: This is a continuation from a previous post, please read part 1 here. This post was originally written in May 2016; I found it in my drafts and felt it needed to be shared. I am currently in a relationship, praise be I don’t have to swipe right and left, but to all my single ladies, this is for you.
I was back in the city and it was my oyster…except it wasn’t. I got freakishly afraid of swiping right on any guy for fear of having to talk to them and eventually go on a date. It’s been YEARS since my last date, YEARS since a guy has even held my hand. After a chat on Friday night with another single lady friend, she commented that most everyone on dating apps was looking for something casual, someone to talk to, and maybe it could go to be serious. Hm. So, on Saturday, I started swiping again (no matches). I tried not to be picky, but I am who I am.
List of things on a Guy’s Bumble Page that usually make me swipe LEFT:
- Photo of a child (when left undefined as his own or not), sorry I’m not ready for that. AT ALL.
- A nice photo of him doing a keg stand. SWOON.
- Any sort of laaame joke in the description; I know you’re trying to make light of an awkward situation, but I know to know something about you!
- Is he holding a dead animal, fish, or any other creature?
- No description AT ALL. (Bonus, he only has 1 photo that either a. is very close up of his face or b. is a whole group of guys, in addition to no description)
- He has his arm around other girls in photos. Is that his ex? She’s so pretty. Like how am I supposed to compete with that? Even if she’s not his ex, he has really pretty friends, why aren’t they dating. HM….
I got a few matches; however, I either chickened out when time came to message them or I couldn’t think of a witty opener. I mean, how do you send something that’s interesting and makes you stand out among the 15 other matches he probably has? SO MUCH ANXIETY. To all men that I expect to make the first move, I’m sorry, it sucks to be you, truly.
After awkward chats with a few guys that never went anywhere, I decided to stop swiping right and left. No, I didn’t delete the app entirely, as what else am I supposed to do on a Saturday night when I’m half a bottle of wine deep? DUH. I just realized that dating apps might not be for me, in any serious manner anyway. Will I give up on dating? Possibly, I did Google search local cats in the area to adopt as I’ll need to start one of these days. I do know that whether I’m single or in a relationship, I’m going to be myself and I’m going to be happy, because my happiness depends on me and my love for myself.
If you’re thinking of using Bumble, I would say go for it. Just because it wasn’t for me, doesn’t mean it might not be for you. Having the control of which guys were able to chat with you was nice for a change. Who knows, maybe you’ll try it and after 4 weeks realize it isn’t for you either, or you could find the love of your life. You do you, and just be sure not to forget to love yourself in the process.
2nd note: I started talking to my boyfriend three weeks after I wrote this. I would like to thank my lame Bumble experience for allowing me to still be single when he finally made a move on me. I guess some things just happen for a reason.