- Ugh, it’s 9 on a Saturday, why am I here?
- Oh, that’s right I want Taylor Swift legs.
- WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE HERE?
- Great, now I have to wander around looking for an empty machine.
- Of course the only treadmill open is next to a gazelle running smoothly at a 7.0 mph speed.
- Is she even sweating?
- HOW IS SHE NOT PANTING.
- Okay, okay I can increase my speed to run.
- Wait, I need a song with a better tempo.
- Sorry Biebs, Sorry isn’t a running song….
- Adele? No, who made this playlist?
- I should contact Spotify and ask to speak to the person who makes these playlists.
- Oh, YAS. Nicki, you know how to get me moving.
- Okay, I’m running…I’m running!
- In through nose, out through mouth. In through nose, out through mouth.
- I wonder if Gazelle has to remember how to breathe.
- *side glance* REALLY. How is she not sweating?!
- Hm, I wonder when I’ll have enough money to care about wearing cute workout clothes from Lulu.
- Should I not be wearing my old college tshirt to work out in?
- No, I’m covered in sweat, Idgaf about how cute I look. COME AT ME GAZELLE.
- But next time I’m at Target, I need like one or two sporty tops. Maybe some active leggings?
- I must have been running for at least ten minutes now.
- *glances at clock* IT’S ONLY BEEN FOUR MINUTES ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME.
- What’s the shortest amount of time that I could run without looking lame?
- Woohoo, hit a half mile, look at me now!
- I’m run-ning, I’m run-ning,dee dee la la la
- In through nose, out through mouth. In through nose, out through mouth.
- Okay, still running, when does running end?
- What do I do if my lungs burst or I pass out?
- Oh, if I pass out, my body will fall onto the fast part of the treadmill and somehow, I’ll die.
- Hm, this isn’t safe. I need to not pass out, dying would suck. At the very least, I would smack my head off something…
- *glances at clock* IT’S ONLY BEEN ONE MINUTE SINCE THE LAST TIME CHECK.
- Okay, I’m done. I’m going to buy donuts.
