Things to Keep You Busy After You’ve Graduated from College and Have Nothing Going for You.

You did it! You made it through those four(+) years that are chalk full of highs and lows. You walked off the stage, diploma in hand, smile on your face. You just hung up your polyester gown and stored away that precious cap. So, now what? If you’re anything like me, these are great ways to spend your time when you’ve graduated and hit a dead end because no ones cares that you need a job!

1. Sleep

Naps on naps on naps.

All those hours of precious sleep you missed out on in college? Don’t worry, laying in bed doing absolutely nothing allows for you to be completely well rested… so that you can keep doing nothing.

2. Netflix

ugh, toast and a smoothie? Try a donut and some cookies.

That queue that’s been building for years as you had to write papers and study for exams? Pshh, say goodbye to that and hello to the longest binge watching marathon in the history of the world. Do I get paid if I make it into Guinness?

3. Read, learn a new language, anything using your brain

who keeps plants in bed with them…?

Because laying around and doing absolutely nothing isn’t good for your brain (no, literally, my brain hurts from not being stimulated) so keep trying different mundane things to keep the blood flowing to your noggin. Try a trip to the library, or making an account on Duolingo. Anything helps.

4. Contemplate every decision you’ve ever made.


1 pinch of ‘why did I choose to go to college for major XYZ?

2 cups of ‘where the hell am I going with my life?

1/2 tsp of ‘why wasn’t I in club ABC and why didn’t I work three more months that one summer at GHI?!

A dash of salt.

Combine all ingredients in a bed that hasn’t been made in a week, with a person who probably hasn’t showered in even longer.

*Serve best with a heaping plate of self loathing.

5. Refresh, Refresh, Refresh

See Mom and Dad, I am trying!

Because maybe, just maybe, there’s a new posing on that I missed?!

6. Use those two bachelor’s degrees to wipe up all your tears.

….because really, what other use is there for them?

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