Did you ever feel the need to run? Thrusting your whole body forward  into the unknown, with the wind pounding against your face and your hair in a tangled mess behind you? I want to do just that. I want to break free and run away from it all. From the responsibility and the fear, to propel myself forward into the unknown where I know my dreams are hiding. I want to race after those desires I’ve kept in my heart, for unleashing them and reaching them are the only two things I desire.

Desire is a funny thing. “A strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.” It’s all about what I want, it’s what you want. Want want want want. But is it right? We don’t need these things, when did we decide these things were the things that would make us happy in life? Where did I get the notion that a boy who loved me would make me happy? When did I get the dream to have a job in the field of my choice making X amount of dollars?

I want to travel the world and see beautiful things. See things that take away my breath, the views, the landmarks, the art. I want to cry at the beauty at it all. I want to watch the sunrise from the top of a mountain and bask in the sunlight of a new day, a new beginning.

I want to do something with my life that I’m passionate about. Something that gives me a reason to get out of bed every morning, that I can’t wait to do, that gives me a purpose. I want a job that allows me to have nice things, to give nice things to others.

I want a man to fall in love with me. I want him to look at me, not seeing the beauty but seeing the imperfections and loving those more. I want to take his breath away. I want to start each day waking up to his smile and end every day gazing at his face until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. I want to stay up and talk to him, I want him to know every part of who I am and vice versa. I want to love him. I want to love him so fiercely that my heart hurts from smiling so much. I want to scream and fight and makeup, because our love is worth it.

I want to draw. I want to be up to my knees in art, works of beauty that were made by my hands. I want to read, every book I can get my hands on. I want to fill my brain with knowledge of many things, all things.

I want to laugh, laugh until I can’t breathe. In that moment, I hope I realize that these moments are few, the ones that take your breath away, that is. Because when it comes down to it, that’s all we desire, right? Those moments that will carry us through to the end and make it all worth while. Those moment may be few, but they mean the most.

That’s what I want. That’s what I just might need.

Love, B.

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