Reasons why this wonderfully available and somewhat attractive human is single, the forever edition.

  1. Single is safe. I don’t have to worry about hurting anyone and I’m not getting hurt. Boom, best case scenario.
  2. Single is uncomplicated. I don’t have to deal with drama or being the jealous and neurotic girlfriend to any guy. I don’t have to deal with fights, working out problems or compromising on things.
  3. Single is free.  I have been single for quite a bit and I’m quite in love with the freedom and independent lifestyle I lead. If I forget my phone for a few hours, there aren’t 900 angry texts from a BF who’s mad I’m ignoring him. I can go here or there or anywhere, without having to drag anyone around.
  4. Single is fun.  For now. I can go out with my roommates and flirt and drink and have FUN. I’m not standing in the corner with my SO having an argument because a guy I didn’t say anything to tried to buy me a drink.
  5. Single is gratifying. While I love spending time around other human beings, I also crave the time I get to spend with myself. I literally need this time in order to function in the world. I think at my twenty something age, I’m totally still trying to piece together who I am as a person and who I want to be. I think I’m also in the process of learning to love myself, which I view as way more important than having a relationship with anyone else.
  6. Single is comfortable. Being single is like my security blanket. It’s all I’ve known for quite some time, so I’m comfortable with my single life. I know how to be single, I don’t have to learn anything new. My bed, my Netflix account and my cat are close friends on lonely nights which I’m totally content with, so why change that?
  7. Single motivates me. I am young and totally able to accomplish so many things. Time I would devote to a SO can be used to manage my blog, shop online, or accomplish a million other things on my to do list. I’m constantly looking to better myself and if I want to read a book about the tactics Abraham Lincoln utilized while in office or learn how to crochet, I can because I have time.
  8. Single gives me standards, high ones. I’m not saying anyone that is a relationship doesn’t have standards because I know many people who are happily in relationships. They just so happened to find someone who mostly met their standards. I, on the other hand, have astronomical standards that no earthly being will ever meet. And that’s okay. If it’s not meant to be with anyone, I could live with it. But probably not…
  9. Single makes me a hypocrite. I actually shudder at the mere thought of ending up alone, dying surrounded by 78 cats. There’s nothing else I dream of than a whirlwind romance, but I’m not willing to lower my standards or change my opinions about ‘love’ just being an idea created by the man and it doesn’t actually exist. Romantic things make me want to throw up on most days. Other days, I swoon in jealousy.
  10. Single is real. At least for me, in my head, relationships are only good if they resemble the one that formed in the last chick flick I watched. I am a product of our culture in that I have very false notions about love that have been skillfully crafted by Hollywood. I want Noah to write me letters every day for a year. I want Mr. Darcy to declare his love for me even though it goes against all societal norms. I want Jake waiting outside my sister’s wedding with his hot red car, because he picked me. The grand gestures of love that make me vomit are actually what fuel my daydreams.

Basically if you need a recap, I’m still a mess of complication and I should probably wear a ‘hazard’ sign around my neck so all males know not to get involved. Because I can’t even handle myself sometimes, how do I expect a guy that deserves my love and respect to? Maybe one day I’ll work up the nerve to take off the ‘hazard’ sign, but for now I’m fine with it on. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll actually want to take it off…

2 thoughts on “Reasons why this wonderfully available and somewhat attractive human is single, the forever edition.

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