Good Guy vs. Nice Guy

Most girls say they want a “good guy” but when they meet him they keep him in the friend zone , chase after jerks and end up heartbroken

Ah, the age old debate about how the ‘good guys’ finish last. I’ve always hated when males tweeted, posted, or uttered those words because I don’t think they’re true. At all. For one thing, the ‘nice guy’ does, in fact, finish last because he allowed himself to be put in the friend zone, didn’t stop her from chasing after jerks and allowed her to be heartbroken. He never stepped up to the plate, he ran away before the inning ever started. The ‘good guy’ did not shy away from talking to her, made an impression on her, was honest about his feelings and, well, he won the girl. Stepped up to plate, grabbed the bat, swing, hit, home run (Then there’s the said, ‘jerks’ which are variation of nice guys at first but then the facade goes away and boom. Done. It’s a trap ladies. They stepped up to the plate with cocky arrogance and got three strikes).

Yes, I said it, there’s a (large) difference between a good guy and a nice guy. A nice guy? Well he’s….nice. He may or may not have the courage (balls) to come up and talk to you. If he does start a chat, he’s sort of funny and a bit awkward, probably because he’s nervous. He’s the guy that you have a suspecting gut feeling that he’s into you but you’re going to ignore it because he never outright said it, so why make things awkward? (Or read about his professed feelings for you allll over Twitter. You think I’m kidding?). Plus you’re really not that into him. I mean, as a friend maybe, go for drinks and some small talk but for some reason this guy isn’t a big prospect for the long term, so why toy him around? He’s buying drinks, mostly for himself to keep up the courage to talk to you. When he asks for your number and you have to entertain the idea of giving him a fake number, don’t be mean and politely decline. Cue the “good guys finish last” tweets. End: FriendzoneSorry bout cha. 

Now for the good guy (the more or less mythical creature of our times). He has long term goals, his finances are in control and he has chivalrous qualities. He goes up to the girl and introduces himself, starts conversation. He knows what kind of girl he wants, he’s not looking for anyone who’s alive and somewhat pretty, who might so happen to be desperate (drunk) enough to talk to him (cue nice guy). He knows what he’s worth and he doesn’t want to waste his time on someone who he can’t see himself with, especially in the long term. So, after chatting for a bit, he’ll either move on if he’s not feeling it or keep conversation flowing. Does he wheel you onto the dance floor to be his grind doll? Probably not, he respects women and  might do some grown up sexy dancing, if he knows how (because a guy who can salsa or any form of fancy dancing, sexy, so sexy). At the end of the night, he’ll ask for your number so he can do the dirty work of calling. And he will call, because if he asked, he genuinely wants it and will use that number to call you (sigh, or text. So sad….). Also, he’s not buying you drinks to get you wasted, he’s just being a gentleman. At the end of the night, he doesn’t have visions of you two rolling around in the sheets, he’s better than that. And guess what? You don’t have some awkward gut feeling that he might possibly be into you. You know he’s into you, and you’re smiling from ear to ear. End: Husband/Long Term Partner

I don’t know why, but I’m going to reference the Jerk. We all know him. He’s a hot nice guy (let’s be honest here). His chiseled facial features and washboard abs totally distract you for a good few hours. If he shows you any photos of himself shirtless, you’ve found him. Somehow you were talking (maybe), but then somehow you’re grinding on the dance floor (when did that happen?). When you do actually talk, he seems witty and charming but you’re still enchanted by his never ending good looks, so you don’t exactly notice that he dodges questions about jobs, the future or anything substantial (and he asks you nothing about yourself, because he doesn’t care. He’s into himself just as much as you are). At the end of the night, he’s either gotten you drunk and hopes to take you home for some pleasure or gives you his number so you have to do the dirty work. Rude. End: RUN.

So ladies, don’t settle for the nice guy. Heck, challenge him to be the good guy! And avoid the Jerk at all costs. Nice guys are why shake our heads and start pricing cat food. Good guys? Well, they’re the reason why we make our Pinterest wedding boards and dream of a happily ever after.


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